Saturday, November 6, 2010

A married couple were golfing in ...

A married couple were golfing in thier front yard. The guy hits two balls and one of them lands in the window across the street. The girl did not notice. She went up to the T and she hit the same window in the same house. The girl felt guilty and said to the husband to get say sorry. They went to the house and knocked on the door, but no one answered, the door just flew open. They made their way up stairs to where their balls had it. When they opened the door a genie-like man was standing there. He said " When your golf ball hit you hit my lamp and set me free. for this I give you 3 wishes" The man said "I want a mansion" the genie replied "Your mansion is built in your old house" The girl sais " I want to be richest person alive" The gnie replied " all of the money you want is in your mansion" For the third wish they wished to be famous. The genie replied " you are now famous". The couple was all happy now. They were walking out the genie asked them if he can have something in return for giving them all the nice stuff. The Man said "like what". " can I sleep with you life for one night". The man said yes with no regrets. The guy sat outside for an hour waiting for his wife. When they were finished the Genie said "And you still believe in Genies"?

One day a man found an ...

One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
"What would you like for your first wish?" asked the genie.
"I want one billion dollars," replies the man.
"Remember," says the genie, "your mother-in-law gets double of what you get."
"I know," replied the man.
The man then chooses his second wish, "I wish I had a brand new sports car." So he gets his second wish and he's very content.
"Your mother-in-law gets double what you get, now what would you like for your third wish?" asks the genie.
The man ponders for a moment, then answers, "I wish to be beaten half to death."

A man and an ostrich walk into ...

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"
The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. "That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri.
"The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."
"Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"
The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"
"Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared." Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"

A man was walking along ...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much much steel!! No, think of another
wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.

A guy was in a cave..

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."